Below
is the moving presentation of Tanya Long, Parents Anonymous®
National Parent Leadership Team®
member, at the Congressional Briefing entitled Child Abuse
and Neglect: How this Public Health Problem Affects Women
and Children held on June 13, 2002. Her testimony is a tribute
to the lasting change parents make through Parents Anonymous®
to strengthen families.
Tanya
Long
Good
Morning, my name is Tanya Long. I am a Parents Anonymous®
Parent Leader from Columbus, Ohio. I have four children, ages
3, 4, 12 and 26 and a one-year old grandchild. You are hearing
today about the human and economic costs of child abuse and neglect
and the urgent need to address this heartbreaking problem. But,
the situation is not hopeless. We know how to effectively prevent
child abuse and neglect. Successful community-based programs such
as Parents Anonymous® build on the strengths and
provide vital support to parents and their children and are responsive
to the complex needs of diverse families.
I would like to share with you my personal story. I am standing
before you today as just one example of the millions of parents
and children who have transformed their lives for the better since
Parents Anonymous® Inc. began in 1969.
In 1998, I became homeless and hit rock bottom. My addiction to
crack cocaine interfered with my ability to provide a safe and
nurturing environment for my children. To the outside world I
appeared to be a highly functioning and supportive parent. But,
when I used drugs, I neglected my children's needs. When I had
my third and fourth children 18 months apart, I felt overwhelmed
and unprepared to take on the daunting task of raising two young
boys. I was faced with the most important choice of my life -
my children or the drugs. I chose my children. Then the real work
began.
After I entered an outpatient drug treatment program and moved
into a homeless shelter, I needed to face head on my inadequacies
and problems as a parent. Thankfully my children and I were able
to attend the weekly Parents Anonymous® Group and
Children's Program at the shelter. Through the mutual support
of the other parents, I was able to share my deepest fears, insecurities
and feelings of shame and guilt for neglecting my children because
of my drug addiction. I replaced my feelings of helplessness with
hope and found the courage and strength to make lasting changes
in my life. At Parents Anonymous®, they believed
in me. The other parents in my group helped me identify my strengths
and find the solutions that worked for my family and me. I am
living proof of the effectiveness of Parents Anonymous®
in preventing child abuse and neglect.
After five months I was able to secure housing for my family.
I had become a committed parent. Through my active participation
in Parents Anonymous®, I had transformed my negative
attitudes, gained new parenting skills, and significantly improved
my self esteem. I am now going on four years in recovery. With
all the positive changes in my life, I am a stronger parent and
my children are thriving. I feel blessed to be able to help other
parents now, by giving back through various leadership roles such
as parent group leader, co-trainer and a member of the National
Parent Leadership Team®.
I am confident that when my children grow up, they will raise
their children in a safe and productive environment free of abuse
and neglect. Last year, my mother paid me a great compliment.
After seeing the way I handle my youngest boys, she said that
she wished she had hugged my brothers more so that they would
have become better men. Now, my 12-year old daughter has regained
her childhood and is very self assured and confident. My young
boys are happy and healthy.
In closing, I thank you for your interest in this critical issue.
Your help is desperately needed in order to prevent child abuse.
Together we can strengthen families all across America to prevent
child abuse and neglect for generations to come.
